


of optimism

by sugarlix



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (if you squint), Autistic Papyrus, Character Study, Papyrus Has Issues, Papyrus Knows More Than He Lets On, Papyrus Remembers Resets, Papyrus-centric, pap needs a hug honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:09:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8415022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarlix/pseuds/sugarlix
Summary: the problem, papyrus thinks, is that he's just got used to lying.(or: a loud voice, a red scarf, a dozen easy puzzles.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> because papyrus, to me, has always been more than this.
> 
> basically, this is born out of loving papyrus a whole lot and wanting to write something about it. :')

let's mention fanon, where sans has incredible power and a brilliant memory and a sharp mind. he's clever and deep and he's given so much sympathy.

papyrus is a tool. he has a red scarf and a loud voice, but no one comments on his kindness, his quick wit, his ability to hide and conceal and convince for the sake of others.

sans is given sharp fangs and a deep voice and a long, sprawling backstory.

papyrus is left a mess of pixels and forgotten possibility.

 

* * *

 

paint me a papyrus who knows how he's perceived -- who knows people think he's childish, naive, stupid. he knows more than people expect of him. he just hides it well.

maybe he notices how people smile at him and let their eyes slide onto sans. maybe he notices how that smile widens into a grin before asking his brother how his day's been.

maybe there's one time he's at grillby's (to pick up sans, only he's conked out and snoozing on the counter, so papyrus figures he can order a milkshake before they leave).

maybe the red bird monster sitting beside him (one of sans' friends?) would lean on her hand and ask him whether it's true that undyne's training him.

he'd nod with the straw in his mouth and watch her smile turn sceptical. 'the royal guard?' she'd ask, frowning a little.

and papyrus would wish, not for the first time, that people didn't sound so disbelieving.

 

* * *

 

he looks into the eyes of a child filled with greed, a silver blade gleaming between their fingers, and he tells them he knows they can do better.

he sees them stop. hears their breath hitch, if only for a moment, and notices how they flinch.

they scowl and take a step forward. papyrus smiles, feels his bony fingers twitch in their gloves.

 

* * *

 

flowey has long vines and yellow petals and a bright, cheerful voice.

'howdy, papyrus!' he says one day, and all papyrus can do is smile weakly back.

flowey frowns at him curiously. papyrus sits cross-legged in front of him, hands tucked behind his boots in the snow.

'papyrus,' flowey says, and his voice seems so steady. 'is something wrong?'

there's a lilt to his voice but the tone's all wrong.

'I'M FINE!!' he says cheerfully. 'THERE'S NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME, FLOWEY.'

the way flowey looks at him makes him wonder if he's as good a liar as he thinks.

'is it your brother again?' flowey asks, a hint of hardness in his voice.

papyrus shifts uncomfortably, smile strained. "I'M FINE, FLOWEY," he repeats.

(he isn't.)

 

* * *

 

sans is reading him a bedtime story that the two of them have memorised back-to-back. when he closes the book and yawns, papyrus asks: "WHAT'S A LAB, SANS?"

sans pauses at the bookshelf, frozen. his shoulders tense up.

'nothing you need to worry about, bro,' he says, and it sounds so casual.

papyrus looks at him, at his blue jacket and pink slippers and black shorts. papyrus looks at him and notices how dark the shadows under his eyes are, how strained his smile is, how his eyes dart away from him.

papyrus switches on this big smile and wishes sans goodnight.

 

* * *

 

he stands in asgore's throne room, shifting his weight from one side to another, trying not to feel so nervous.

he remembers his conversation with undyne earlier ('what are you worrying about!! asgore's just a big softie!!!'). as a royal guard (in training) and a Cool Friend in general, he decides that if undyne likes him so much then asgore must be a nice guy.

when asgore does come out, his brown eyes are kind and his smile is gentle, and papyrus starts to feel a little more relaxed.

papyrus ends up talking about his puzzles, flapping his hands and bouncing on his toes. when he pauses, worried his voice is too loud or his gestures too wild, asgore just asks him another question. he sounds happy, interested even in what papyrus has to say.

it's been a long time, papyrus thinks, since other people have seemed to have been.

 

* * *

 

surface now.

there are no walls above ground, no closed-in feeling that one is accustomed to when living in the underground.

the surface is vast and dazzling and beautiful, and when he sees how people look at them a little while later, it's scary.

and when he sees frisk frown a little, when he sees them tug at their sleeves and check where the knives are and stop scrubbing their hands so much in the sink, well. that's scary too.

 

* * *

 

underground. flowey looking at him, all ivory bones and red scarf and loud voice. he sighs.

'this doesn't make any sense,' flowey says. he bobs on his stem a little, looking disgruntled.

'WHAT DOESN'T?'

flowey scowls. 'at this point, you're supposed to be dead.'

 

* * *

 

on the surface and he can't sleep. he's sitting beside frisk on the brick wall outside because apparently, they can't sleep either.

through the moonlight cutting through the darkness and the sound of trees swaying, papyrus asks, 'how long is this going to last?'

frisk just shakes their head.

 

* * *

 

underground again and everything aches.

sharp knives and red souls and bright brown eyes.

forgettable.

 

* * *

 above the ground. frisk is an old soul.

that's what asgore says anyway, over a cup of golden flower tea and sunlight streaming through the windows.

papyrus is sitting opposite him at the kitchen table. they're on the surface again, sharing a whole big house together. alphys and undyne go to beaches, cafés, fancy restaurants. toriel and sans joke together and bake pies and pastries and cake.

asgore, him, they've been spending time together.

it's nice to speak to asgore. he's never really done to without the context of daily reports and sentry duties, so it's nice to do it with the context of tea and sunlight and toriel's biscuits.

all of this is pretty nice.

one time asgore is sitting on one of the wooden chairs and staring out the window. he asks papyrus, 'do you ever get the feeling you've met frisk before, papyrus?'

papyrus is all shaking hands and a racing mind. all he can think is: always, always, always.

 

* * *

 

back below the surface where he looks into the eyes of a child filled with greed, a silver blade gleaming between their fingers. he tells them he knows they can do better.

he sees them step back. hears them hold back a sob, barely audible, and notices how tears fill their eyes.

they sob and run forward into pap's arms, and all papyrus can do is wrap his arms around them and let them cry into his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

believing in people is not stupid. having hope for the kindness of strangers is not naive. optimism is not ignorance.

papyrus is more than a loud voice and a red scarf and a dozen easy puzzles. he's more than anything people pin him down as.

one summer aboveground, in a house wedged between sunlight and alleyways and dustbins, placed on a street in a city of monsters and humans, frisk tells him he's the best friend they've ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> i've always loved platonic papyrus/asgore. i don't really know why but it's great, a* brotp.
> 
> also, flowey and paps' relationship. it's pretty messed up and i wanted to show that but at the same time ... they're both v troubled. they've got a lot on their minds. and they react so differently that it's super interesting and honestly i just want them both to be happy. i will never write angsty fics properly i just end up making them happy :')
> 
> thank you for reading this far!!! pls do leave a comment if you can <3


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